John Woo and You
by definitely-always
Summary: "Always" AU. The John Woo movie night.


**PROMPT**: "Caskett: Always AU—the John Woo movie night." (requested by anon)  
**RATING**: T  
**WORD COUNT**: 2,442  
**DISCLAIMER**: Not mine. Damn.  
**A/N**: Okay, so, yeah, this one got away from me. It's not a drabble any longer. More like a one-shot that I may actually continue in the near future. But for now, I'm considering this complete. Also, it's probably less fluffy than what was expected by the prompter, but I think it'll be appreciated all the same. I hope, at least. :p Enjoy! :)

* * *

Kate knocked on the solid wood door at exactly 8 o'clock P.M., balancing the Chinese takeout in one hand as she did so. The door swung open within seconds to reveal a smiling Castle.

"Hey," he greeted, stepping aside to allow her to enter the loft. "I'm glad you came. It's way too quiet."

Kate returned his smile and stepped inside, the door closing behind her. "I'm here with the noise. And the food."

When he noticed her full arms, he quickly relieved her of the food, carrying it to the kitchen. "This looks and smells amazing," he said with flourish. "I'm starving!" He patted his stomach to emphasize his words.

Kate had to laugh at his antics. Within minutes, the food was dished out (Castle insisted on using real plates instead of eating from the cartons) and they settled on the couch, each at one end as the first movie began.

"Cheng's makes the best sweet and sour shrimp," Castle said between bites, making pleased noises.

"I've never tried it. I'm partial to their Cashew Chicken," Kate said. She highlighted her point by taking another bite of her meal and humming in pleasure.

"Oh, man, then you gotta try this," Castle said, sliding towards the center of the couch. "Here." He held out a generous bite of the sweet and sour shrimp on his chopsticks, making sure to hold it over hiss napkin so as not to allow any of the food to slip onto Kate or the leather couch.

"I'm not a big fan of sweet and sour sauce, Castle," Kate said, eyeing the bite of food with caution.

"Just try it? Please?"

Kate rolled her eyes at his puppy dog face and sighed. "Oh, alright," she said, sitting up and scooting towards him. "How can I say no to that face?" She reached for his chopsticks, but he stopped her and tried to feed her. "Castle," she warned.

"This is the perfect bite," he argued. "I don't want to risk losing any of the important stuff during chopstick transfer. It's vital that you get the full experience of Cheng's sweet and sour shrimp."

"Whatever, Castle," Kate finally gave in, knowing it was an unwinnable battle. He brought the chopsticks towards her and she leaned in, closing her lips around the wooden sticks and taking the bite of shrimp. She chewed carefully, allowing herself to taste the food, pretending to be deep in thought. She swallowed and nodded. "Still not my favorite, but it's the best sweet and sour sauce I've tasted." She glanced over to Castle. He was looking at her intently. "What?" she asked.

Castle blinked, as if she'd pulled him out of a daze (she had), and he shook his head to clear it. "Nothing," he said quickly. "Uh, I'm glad you like it. Told you it was the best." He quickly refixed his gaze towards the movie.

Kate narrowed her eyes at him, but shook her head slightly and continued to watch the movie. Or, she pretended to watch the movie. Once she'd finished her food, her thoughts were not focused on the movie at all. Rather, all she could think about at the moment was the man sitting less than three feet away from her. She snuck another glance at him, studying his profile. He lay back against the cushions, legs stretched out in front of him, socked feet propped up on the coffee table.

"Hey, you know when you say it's creepy when I watch you do paperwork?" Castle's sudden question jerked her out of her daydreams.

"Uh, yes?"

Castle glanced over at her, a grin on his face. "I think watching me watch a movie is just as creepy, if not more so."

Kate felt her cheeks burn. Of course he would know when she was staring. It was Castle, after all. She didn't even try to deny it, knowing it was futile. Instead, she just shrugged, stood, and picked up her empty plate, along with his.

"What are you doing?" Castle asked.

"Taking the dirty dishes to the kitchen," she replied as if the answer were obvious. She started towards the room in question.

"Yeah, I can see that," Castle said, pressing pause and following her. He cut her off as she rounded the back of the couch. "I meant why? You're the guest, remember?" He took the plates from her and carried them himself to the kitchen.

"Fine, I'll just pour us some more wine," she quipped playfully, picking up their empty wine glasses and following him to the kitchen.

"Now you're talkin'," Castle said. He placed the plates in the sink as she poured. He'd deal with them later. He took the proffered wine and sipped. Kate still watched him carefully, gnawing on her bottom lip, driving him crazy. "What are you thinking about?" he asked, setting his own glass down and leaning his elbows on the countertop. They stood close. Not unusually so, but Castle could smell the hint of cherries that was uniquely Kate.

Kate blinked at the question, unprepared for it. "I… I was just trying to figure out what happened. You went from practically attached to my hip to chasing after rogue gang detectives and flying bimbos, and now you're back to the former? My head is just spinning a bit from it all." She couldn't meet his eyes as she spoke. Instead, she watched her fingers play along the stem of her glass where it still rested on the counter.

Castle let out a breath, realizing that they were long overdue for this conversation. It was time. "Come on," he said, taking one of her hands and leading her towards the sitting area.

"Where are we going?" Kate asked, confused.

"We need to actually sit and have a real conversation," he said, sitting on the couch and pulling her down next to him.

"A novel concept," she said with a small smile.

"For us? Yeah." He took one more sip of his wine for courage, then set it, along with hers, aside. "I guess I owe you some answers."

Kate nodded slightly.

"But you also owe me some answers as wells," he said, voice serious. "I heard you."

Kate tilted her head sideways. "Heard me when?"

"In the box with Bobby Lopez during the dirty bomb case. You took him in before I got there, so I watched you from the observation room while you ripped him a new one. It's so hot when you interrogate people at get all 'I am woman, hear me roar.'"—Kate rolled her eyes at this.

"Castle, what does any of that have to do—"

"Let me finish," he interrupted. "I was watching from observation. Bobby claimed that he couldn't remember what had happened. You called him out on it. Told him that you'd been shot and—"

Kate sucked in a quick, panicked breath. "Castle—"

He laid two fingers on her lips to quiet her. "Still not finished," he said. "I was so angry, Kate. When I realized that you'd remembered all along about everything that happened that day—about what I… said—I was angry. And hurt. I figured that you lied because you didn't feel the same and didn't want to hurt me."

Kate shook her head, tears welling up, but didn't interrupt again, so he continued on.

"Kate, I told you that I loved you and you pretended that you hadn't heard it. What else was I supposed to think? How was I supposed to show my face around anymore knowing that you didn't feel the same way? I was more than hurt; I was embarrassed.

"So I tried to distance myself. Tried to convince myself that I was okay and it wasn't a big deal. I'd bounced back from worse in the past, hadn't I? I used Slaughter and the flight attendant in attempt to distract myself, but it failed on epic proportions. And then there was the zombie case. What you said about Kyle Jennings and him not remembering what had happened… I thought that maybe I was wrong about why you kept it from me. I was still angry that you had, still am, to be honest, but I the hurt dissipated a bit. I think. I mean, if I was wrong about you not feeling the same, that is."

Kate had sat there through his monologue, heart racing, stomach clenching. Dammit, the last thing she'd wanted to do was hurt this man!

"Are you done?" she asked tentatively.

Castle paused, then nodded, wringing his hands between his knees.

Kate sat up straighter, deciding to be as forthright as she could with him. So instead of talking, she placed her hand on his cheek and forced him to look at her, then leaned in and pressed her lips to his in a soft kiss. It lasted no more than a few seconds and was nothing more than the meeting of lips, but it conveyed so much.

"Listen to me," Kate said, still only a few inches away from him. "I'm not proud of the fact that I lied. And I am sorry that I hurt you. But it was _not_ because I didn't feel the same." She pulled in a steadying breath and made sure their eyes were meeting so he could see her sincerity. "It was because I _did_ feel the same."

Castle knit his brow in confusion.

"I know, that sounds like such a copout, but it's the truth," Kate rushed out. "I told you about that wall and that was the truth. It's been there since my mom was murdered. No one has been able to get close to my heart since then. No one except you. You're the reason it's coming down. And it _is_ coming down. It's taking a lot of time and therapy hours, but it's working. I didn't tell you because… because I wasn't ready, mentally or emotionally, to face the truth.

"And then, I was so messed up. I'm _still_ messed up, Castle. For a solid two months after the shooting, the slightest noise outside would have me reaching for my non-existent gun and falling to the ground to take cover. It's got better with time, but then there was the sniper case and I was dealing with it all over again. Like it was actually happening again, and I couldn't control anything, including myself."

Tears were now flowing freely down her cheeks. She didn't notice, even when Castle reached up to wipe them away with his thumbs. She just needed to get everything out in the open. She continued: "I was such a giant mess, and you deserve better. You said it yourself, you need uncomplicated, and I have 'complicated' written all over me. You deserve uncomplicated and that's not me. So I didn't say anything."

"Kate—"

"No, you had your turn. It's my turn now."

He closed his mouth.

Kate took another deep breath. "I'm not trying to make excuses. What I did was wrong, but it was the only thing I could do at the time. And then by the time I was ready to move forward with… _us_… you were giving me the cold shoulder. I realize why now, but I didn't at the time, and it confused me. I was finally ready to open myself up and you… weren't anymore. I thought I'd missed my chance and that killed me."

She pressed her forehead against his, their noses brushing. She lowered her voice to barely a whisper. "Castle, I'm damaged goods, but I can't lose you. Not again."

"You're not damaged, Kate," Castle interjected. "You were wounded, and I don't mean physically, but you can heal."

Kate pulled back slightly. "I _am_ damaged, but it's okay. Someone once told me to make it a strength instead of a weakness, and I've been trying. I'm finally succeeding. Because of you. I don't want to lose that."

"Kate—"

"I'm sorry," Kate said. "I'll do whatever it takes to make it up to you, even if that means," she paused and took a deep breath, more tears rolling down her cheeks, "letting you go. Even though that would hurt, if it's what you want—"

Castle lunged forward, capturing Kate's lips with his own to stop her in the middle of her sentence, letting her know that that was exactly the opposite of what he wanted. This kiss was more intense. Rougher, as if he were attempting to convey all of his emotions—hurt, anger, acceptance, forgiveness, elation, love—through this kiss.

Kate made a surprised noise in the back of her throat as Castle's lips accosted hers, but she didn't pull back. Rather, she pressed forward, reaching up to thread her fingers through his hair as she held him to her. She didn't even hesitate to accept his demanding tongue into her mouth as it tangled with hers.

Kate's eyes drifted closed of their own accord and her heart raced. This is what she'd been missing. Just his simple kiss made her feel whole again. Like she belonged.

Castle's hands settled on her tiny waist, then wrapped around her lower back, holding her tight as their tongues, lips, and teeth battled for dominance. He'd known kissing Kate would be like this—sweet, spicy, and daring all at once. He'd gotten a small taste of that the previous year when he'd kissed her to distract that security guard. But even that was nothing compared to the real thing. She tasted of wine and _Kate_. She smelled of those damn cherries. And she felt both soft and strong in his arms. Oh, he could definitely get used to this.

Oxygen became necessary and they parted, both panting.

"You aren't getting rid of me that easily, Katherine Beckett," Castle murmured in her ear. "I'm sticking around for a long, long time."

Kate smiled, even though he couldn't see it because his face was currently buried in her neck. Not that she was complaining. "You better," she replied, voice ragged. She shivered as he found a particularly sensitive spot beneath her ear with his lips. "I have plans for you, yet."

"What kind of plans?" Castle asked as he pressed her back onto the couch, moving so that he hovered over her. That didn't work for Kate, however, so she wrapped one leg around his waist and tugged him forward so that they were pressed together from chest to groin. They both hummed in pleasure at the feeling.

"Dirty plans," Kate whispered just before pulling him to her in another fiery kiss.

Oh, yes, they could both get use to _this_.


End file.
